Monday, January 17, 2011

Do Women Who Hate their Fathers Tend to Mess Up their Relationships with Men?



Dr. Boyce Watkins asked this question on his Facebook page:

A friend of mine once said "If the woman you're dating hates her father, it is almost inevitable that she is going to find a reason to hate you too." Is that true?


Here were some of the responses:

    • LaDawn Sumpter-Fraser Almost true... she will find some of the same faults not on purpose but if he does anything close to what her father did or does... the hate will come out and comparison!!!!Speaking from experience!!!I've grown a lot from it but it happens!!!!

      Yesterday at 11:38am · Like

    • Limnyuy Konglim No. Is this the same friend that wrote the book you mentioned a while back?

      Yesterday at 11:38am · Like · 1 person

    • Mike Pace Not absolutely true. It is on a case by case basis. Some may hate their father due to lack of appearance and influence. And some may hate due to other mistreatments or even misunderstandings. Other external factors such as relationship with brothers, uncles, ex boyfriends, etc will most likely play a role. So it is tough to call.

      Yesterday at 11:41am · Like · 5 people

    • LaDawn Sumpter-Fraser Boyce Imma say no to the hate him part because I'm married and it will just be a comparison thing and she will look to find if the husband or boyfriend will do anything close to what her father has done!!! Because she is trying to find the opposite to her dad!!!

      Yesterday at 11:43am · Like · 1 person

    • Lori Stee Might not the statement be made regarding men in relationship to their mothers? To what end do you isolate the dynamic as related to women?

      Yesterday at 11:49am · Like · 3 people

    • Ida Davis

      This is a very timely discussion. The relationship between daughters
      and fathers forms the basis for positive or negative relationships
      between men and women. I disagree with this statement, however.
      Some women seek a "nice daddy-type" man to...See More

      Yesterday at 11:49am · Like

    • Beverly Knapp I think that is a very stereotypical comment. These types of generalizations do not add to progression.

      Yesterday at 11:52am · Like · 3 people

    • Rodney A West Yes, it starts off as a trust issue, then the love airbag bursts. The father-daughter relationship is a critical element in the psychology of loving ALL of your woman.

      Yesterday at 11:56am via Facebook Mobile · Like · 1 person

    • Jocelyn Mills Lyons If she hasn't faced and worked through those issues.....I think so.

      Yesterday at 12:06pm · Like

    • Jocelyn Mills Lyons On a certain level, don't we all have some issue to work through?

      Yesterday at 12:08pm · Like · 3 people

    • Elijah Augustine I've found this to be true. It doesn't take very long in a relationship to figure out whether the woman had a good or bad relationship with her father. The difference to them being well adjusted in a relationship is like night and day.

      Yesterday at 12:22pm via Facebook Mobile · Like

    • Ida Davis

      Lori, I can personally relate to your discussion! In a real world,
      children love and respect both parents. However, behind closed
      doors in the big houses with the white fences, there is often
      terror. Children of abusive parents carry the scar...See More

      Yesterday at 12:26pm · Like · 2 people

    • Tracy Jones Billups

      wow.......I think the woman will have trouble relating to a man properly if she has not dealt with any issues she has from childhood including father issues.
      Hate is a strong word, so for her to hate the man who should be her first love mea...See More

      Yesterday at 12:31pm · Like

    • Sheila Monae Yes it's true

      Yesterday at 12:56pm · Like

    • Shanelle Walker Not true

      Yesterday at 1:31pm · Like · 1 person

    • Monica Davis Usually, she will look for her husband/boyfriend to be what she wanted in a dad.

      Yesterday at 2:28pm · Like

    • Shakira Pumphrey idk i love my daddy!!!!

      Yesterday at 2:33pm · Like

    • Mary Alice Miller No. Usually, she subconsciously is attracted to physically and emotionally unavailable males -- males who may be there, but are not there. If she is self-aware, she works to change what she is attracted to. Then she finds out many males are physically and emotionally unavailable. If she affirmatively chooses not to get involved with them, she will find slim pickings.

      Yesterday at 2:55pm · Like

    • Mary Alice Miller I meant physically and emotionally unavailable males like her father, if that is what her father was like.

      Yesterday at 2:58pm · Like

    • Cynthia King

      Boyce: "A friend of mine once said "If the woman you're dating hates her father, it is almost inevitable that she is going to find a reason to hate you too." Is that true?"
      No, but like anyone who has been bitten once and twice shy, they dev...See More

      Yesterday at 3:23pm · Like · 1 person

    • Lanessa Gray Pettigrew So NOT true!!

      Yesterday at 4:06pm · Like · 1 person

    • Valencia Roner Nope! Not true.

      Yesterday at 4:17pm · Like · 1 person

    • Willie Carr Jr It might not be true as a rule because there are always exceptions, but as a man I'd be on guard. It's a fact that many men who abuse women had "mother" issues so it's just as likely that women with "father" issues might pose some real challenges.

      Yesterday at 4:36pm · Like

    • Mary Alice Miller ‎@Willie; Also, some males who saw males abuse their mothers (quite common) learn that abusing women is male behavior. This is true if the father was in the home abusing, or if he hit it and quit, and other males come into the mother's life with abuse.

      Yesterday at 4:49pm · Like

    • Willie Carr Jr

      There is an element of truth there but please know that although males who abuse women is probably more prevalent, abuse is often a two way straight. Whether it's physical or verbal all abuse can be very destructive. Hopefully those who've ...See More

      Yesterday at 5:15pm · Like

    • Mary Alice Miller We need more males like you to step to out-of-order males and guide them on a different path -- with words.

      Yesterday at 5:26pm · Like

    • Willie Carr Jr

      Thank you. It's refreshing to communicate with a lady who is at least willing to acknowledge that because I point out that there are two sides to an issue, it does not make me a woman hater. I beleve in words as much as is humanly possible...See More

      Yesterday at 6:38pm · Like

    • Se'lina Roberts Not true.

      20 hours ago · Like

    • Erica Mosely

      I think if there is abuse or anything done that causes the young lady to mistrust her father, there will definitely be some kind of negative impact her interactions with men. The same can be said for men. I believe that your mom and dad a...See More

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