When I heard that Chris Brown hit his ex-girlfriend Rihanna, I was concerned and surprised. I also found myself irritated by the fact that many women, along with my teenage daughters, were quick to forgive Chris for his actions, primarily because they think he has a great voice and a cute face. I had little sympathy for Chris Brown, and doing something like that to one of my girls would’ve had him singing a cappella for the rest of his life.
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But that’s where I have to get off the Chris Brown bashing bus. In spite of my frustration with Chris’ behavior, I cannot endorse the media’s decision to turn his relationship with Rihanna into a one-sided slugfest, committed by yet another violent black man whose rage consistently overrides his intellect. I also cannot endorse Rihanna’s decision to bring ABC News into her relationship, portraying herself as the completely innocent victim who was terrorized by the big, scary black man. Yes, she is the victim, but we all know that love is not that simple.
Let’s be clear: No man should ever put his hands on a woman in a violent way. We all agree on that. Not only is it morally wrong, but it’s an easy way for a man to find himself in jail (especially if he’s black). We should also agree that no woman should put her hands on any man. The second point might be subject to disagreement, but the truth is that you shouldn’t hit someone if you don’t expect to get hit back. While that person might end up being punished by the police, you might end up in the morgue. We can also agree that the disproportionate amount of force that a man is capable of inflicting is a legitimate reason that the man is more to blame than the woman, even if both parties are involved in a physical altercation.
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